Mark 9:23-25 "But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”"
This is where I am at today. I have spent countless hours reading through the endless adoption blogs, studying the different agencies, soaking in as much information as I possibly can to be prepared for what is ahead.
Here is what I have learned about myself. I like to have it all figured out.
And the problem is: I can't. This is not the type of thing that can be just figured out. Especially not in a week.
God is the one in control.
This is a leap of faith that is taking trust to a whole new level. It is going to take time, and God is going to reveal each step to us piece by piece. And in the meantime- I pray that I can walk this journey with faith and trust. He uses every circumstance in our lives to bring us closer to Him. Nothing will ever even touch our life outside of His Sovereign plan and outside of His purpose.
As quickly as I say "Lord, I believe" I am confronted with my own disbelief. I know the fears that run through my mind, the questions I so badly want answered- and I am reminded to pray, "Lord, please help my unbelief." I want to be one who will trust in the Lord completely. He has already worked miracles right before my own eyes, yet I still slip in doubt. Why do I doubt? He is the One who spoke the universe into motion! That is the God I am serving! "Lord, help my unbelief."
Ephesians 3: 14-21
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."